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View Profile Lordcuckness
😞🔫 If you can't express yourself, what is the point in being alive? I have a sick mind, Hope i don't loose it altogether. 🔞ADULTS ONLY🔞
certified retard (rare species)

Scat artist.

What a complete waste of time

Your mind.

Joined on 8/22/18

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I gotta call it quits

Posted by Lordcuckness - November 28th, 2021


I had what was close to a nervous break down a few weeks ago, i managed to recovered from it.


I was in a peptual state of panic. let me tell u.. that aint know fun. I lost lots of weight in a single month from that alone.. i think.


Like i use to use the third hole on my belt. im now on my fiith, could do sixth if i wanted.


It seems from there my depression has gotton worse overall, it might be to do with age...

But what the fuck am i doing? Im so lonley and i feel im on the verdge of going mad, not helped by being autistic, but thats just personal to me of course


I know people on the spectrum do great things and feel great about it. I feel like my light has gone out and its horrifying.


I got on to meds about a month ago and thats helped i think, i got some antriptaline for sleep to, i think i seriously needed that.


Im thankful to have a thearpist at least.


I feel like all my dark disturbing thoughts have caught up with me, like im paying the price for living the way i have. Its not fucking fair. I was never social like everyone else, and everything scared me from day one. so why the hell was my diagnoses so late, if it was discovered early i could have learned more about my self at a time where i could have intergrated into the world better. Now i dono who i am and i hate it. It didnt bother me before.. but im older now, maybe thats why.


I feel so angry and hateful, but so sad and anxious. Its really hard to get intrusive thoughts about self harm and suicide out of my head. At the very least, i am in a slightly better place then I was about a month ago.. that was pure hell.


Its been a struggle just to get to this point where i can actually write and update people who follow me!

Seriously i couldnt do anything, i had to lay down and just watch tv and even that was a struggle, i was on the floor going mad. My emotions all over the place.


Anyway, i dont know if il return. I want to keep my social media stuff active and stuff. My gumroad too. I was at least able to do some productive stuff, although not strictly hentai, but practice that good improve my overal quailty of content if i did return.


Thanks everyone who supported me on patron, and everyone who watches me on furaffinity and follows me on twitter and newgrounds.


xxxx


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Comments

damn, sounds like a really hard situation you're in rn. im glad that you at least have someone to talk to and are taking some steps towards that goood, goood self improvement. i think you were just dealt a bad had to beigin with but although you've struggled you still managed to make something out of a shitty situation and for that, you should be proud of. its not that you're doin something wrong, is just the feeling of advancing though a world that wasn't designed for you to advance, and its amazing that you're proving it otherwise.

hope that you feel better and start finding happiness in life and feel fulfilled

oooo

Thanks. What you wrote made me feel alot better. <3